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I Will Carry You

from Love Is the Ground by Rena Branson

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about

This song is inspired by ישעיהו/Isaiah 46:4, which says וְעַד־שֵׂיבָ֖ה אֲנִ֣י אֶסְבֹּ֑ל – roughly, "until your old age, I will carry you." The word used here for "carry" has the same root as the word for "patience" (סבלנות) and "suffering" (סבל) — so we can also translate the verse as "When you turn grey, I'll still carry you/be patient with you/bear you."


For me, this line is a reminder of a few truths—that constant change, aging, and mortality are inevitable; that I am stuck with myself for the rest of my life; and that I can either carry myself gently and open-heartedly into the unknown and make all this more pleasant, or I can treat myself/my experience as a loathed burden and increase my own suffering—it's up to me in each moment.


This line is also a reminder that I am always carried by something greater than myself, whether I can feel that in a given moment or not—by each of my relationships, by broader community, by ritual and time, by my ancestors, by the whole interdependent web of existence, by my favorite ancient names for the Divine—


המקום hamakom the Place
אין סוף ayn sof There Is No End
חי העולמים chei ha'olamim Life-Giver of the Worlds
הרופאי לשבורי לב harofei lishvurei lev Healer of the Brokenhearted
שכינה shechina Indwelling Presence
הרחמן harachaman Compassionate/Womby One


︾

So—you are a precious creature with tremendous capacity to heal and grow. This is still true no matter how much you resent your own distress patterns on a given day. Will you be your own friend right now? What do you need? Will you love the little kid who still lives in you and is scared of change and wants to be held? Will you remember that you can ask for help?

lyrics

I will carry you through these changes
וְעַד־שֵׂיבָ֖ה אֲנִ֣י אֶסְבֹּ֑ל
V'ad seva ani esbol

Translation:

When you turn grey, I'll still carry you/be patient with you/bear you (Isaiah 46:4)

credits

from Love Is the Ground, released September 18, 2022
Vox: Rena Branson, Rebekka Goldsmith, Batya Levine
Octave Mandolin: Joey Weisenberg
Percussion: Sam Weisenberg

Recording: Live recording by Eric Bogacz (Spice House Sound), overdubs recorded by Eric Sherman

Mix & Master: Don Godwin

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about

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Rena Branson Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Rena Branson (they/she) is a Jewish composer, ritual leader, and educator who uplifts personal and collective healing through song. They founded A Queer Nigun Project, which organizes singing events for LGBTQIA+ folks and sends audio content to people in the Jewish community who are incarcerated. Rena is also a Reiki practitioner. Learn more at renabranson.com. ... more

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